" Ya Know, I like Emma Watson, If I have a photo it's a little bit easier to imagine me twisting my dick in like a coke bottle into her asshole. "

 

"I wish I could perpetually fuck 19-year-olds until I'm 80."

"So if I drink a beer named Richard Simmons it will be delicious and healthy?"

"Can you imagine the level of drizzle on that keyboard if you decide to comment after you've jerked off?"

"Things seem to be going too well right now so I'm going to bring up things that happened two years in the past"

"Just ink that thing up and slap it down on a piece of paper to show how big ya are"

"Michigan teen kills dad for making fun of how fat she is. Did she kill him by sitting on him? "

"Lets get a few micropenises in here shove em up your nose and make ya really air tight"

"Can  you imagine being so inspired mid-stroke that you'd stop to make comments on pornhub?"