Goin’ Deep Show 2327: Timing Hat Trick’s Hookups – Happy 4th!

(0s) I know me and I’m a shithead and nobody needs to hang out with me more than a couple of hours at a time, right?
(8s) You do know me too. I like how he’s just like I’m gonna just drink my drink here. I’m not gonna come at
(14s) You say here. I’ve been better these recently people come on. Patrick. I always go back to what you tell me
(20s) Patrick says what did you say sobriety looks good on you? It does. So it’s like I like it
(26s) And you know I was thinking about that too like next weekend is the corn fest
(30s) I was like, man, I’m like, I don’t think if you guys ended up coming out, I just I don’t see you passing out on my neighbors lawn next year But that was almost that was around the culmination of everything. I think with when you finally are like, I’ve got it back off I can’t do that, you know like that was like I could not believe like when you guys left you’re pretty tank Like yeah, we’re just gonna go chill. We’re not gonna drive and then I get a text from like something I got that text for my neighbor
(1m) You were gone you were gone but it’s time that I got
(1m 3s) By the way, can we get back to the house? Do you want to tell this whole story?
(1m 8s) To the neighbor say like does this belong to you? Well, no, I guess like I guess he went out and
(1m 16s) Like was asking like hey, you okay? Like we’re going and everything and
(1m 22s) A front hat trick lives right here. Yeah. Well. Yeah, he’s in my real name and stuff And he’s like oh, that’s you know, you know, you know, you know, it’s obviously we got you know my neighbor and stuff and he took all that that’s her house over there and stuff like that.
(1m 31s) So that’s when he was texting me.
(1m 33s) Just like, Hey, I just wanted you to know.
(1m 34s) And I’m like, I’m so sorry.
(1m 35s) He’s like, and he was cool.
(1m 36s) Cause he’s like, it’s not your fault.
(1m 37s) Like, you know, he’s like, I’m just worried that they’re gonna, you know, he’s gonna be driving and everything.
(1m 42s) And I’m like, oh, it’s, you know, but he had blocked.
(1m 44s) Cause he’d blocked my driveway with his truck and texted me that.
(1m 48s) So you go ahead and get out and then we get home.
(1m 52s) Cause you’d moved Zool’s truck into the road.
(1m 54s) Cause she was parked behind me.
(1m 55s) – I didn’t talk.
(1m 56s) – Somebody moved her truck into the road.
(1m 58s) She was parked behind you in the driveway.
(2m) I never moved it and she’s like because her car here keys are there and then yeah We get that. I’m like dude. You’re not here. You’re not you’re gone like you had moved There’s one spot in my dress that you could go around his truck and you did it squeeze it with your little car My tiny little goat pack that I have yeah little sleepovers that night yeah, no actually I made it home
(2m 21s) Yeah, I’m texting I’m like are you home and you did text me that night like yep made it back And I’m like okay, I’m like what the fuck do cuz I was worried about that cuz that was a whole plan Hey, if you guys get drunk, like the kids were gone.
(2m 30s) I think you nailed it and that being the peak of if I was able to drink that much, drive home, be fine, there’s something wrong that my tolerance was probably through the fucking rough, even to a point where I could get drunk for a hot minute and then come out of it and feel like I was almost normal when I was far from it.
(2m 51s) Before we started, we had mentioned, we don’t make mistakes, we’ll do some stupid shit.
(3m) We just have to look back at it and go like, I could have been in some deep shit and even way worse off than I was.
(3m 8s) I mean, you could have gotten hurt. You could have hurt somebody else. There’s so many different things that you look at.
(3m 12s) We’re lucky. Super lucky on things like that for sure. I don’t know how many times I’ve been drunk getting road ahead for hours and hours and hours and hours.
(3m 22s) If all the roads, if you’ve made a map of all the streets I’ve been getting head-on, Jesus Christ, it looked like one of them when Apple met.
(3m 30s) The maps turns red in on the traffic area.
(3m 35s) Walk of fame. Walk of fame.
(3m 41s) That’s up the future.
(3m 44s) Something for the future.
(3m 47s) I like outside sex and I haven’t had much outside sex before. A lot of outside fingering.
(3m 54s) Yeah. Oh, Jesus.
(3m 57s) I had a convenient outside.
(4m) Oh, Jesus Christ, it’s so fucking hot. Oh, gross. Sickening, man.
(4m 5s) Well, I like what the fireworks tonight where people are out. They’ve got their blankets out. They’re sitting on the hill.
(4m 12s) You just never know what might be going.
(4m 14s) Put a blanket. Why do you got a blanket over your lap? Got a bonner. She’s jacking me off. Can’t you tell?
(4m 19s) I can tell you this right now though. If that got some of that concert, we talked about it last week, right?
(4m 23s) No hotties, just kind of like holy shit. But I’m standing there and I look at some chickas.
(4m 30s) There’s a guy who’s standing. She was that the convenience of the hill.
(4m 37s) You can just like go down a step or up a step a little bit to adjust for height.
(4m 42s) And your arm stays right in this perfect position.
(4m 45s) As I was watching it, I was kind of studying like a scientist.
(4m 49s) That was what he did.
(4m 52s) He had a skirt on it was really short skirt in the front and his hand was like naturally just down right in front.
(4m 57s) in front, but you could see it’s two figures.
(5m) – Got it, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.
(5m 3s) It was funny.
(5m 4s) So I’m elbowing, erasure, I’m like,
(5m 6s) “Checking up dudes blaster.”
(5m 9s) – Well, I said you guys said article is sweet about how guys are doing it all wrong.
(5m 13s) – Yeah, that was one of the first thing I wanted to break.
(5m 14s) – Yeah, that was a perfect segue into this,
(5m 16s) ’cause I was gonna bring that up.
(5m 19s) So I think it’s right here.
(5m 20s) – Under the hot section, why most men finger?
(5m 23s) – Like they’re checking for oil.
(5m 25s) – Yeah, I don’t, I do the come hither.
(5m 27s) I do it, isn’t that, is that the proper technique?
(5m 30s) What’s the proper technique for finger blast in these days?
(5m 32s) I mean, I guess it depends, like, on what you’re going for, ’cause, like, for, like, just play with a clip, right?
(5m 40s) That’s all you need to do, you don’t need to go inside of me, like, but are you, or you fling your blast to me, ’cause you’re eating me out?
(5m 45s) Like, there’s, it depends on the situation as to what the appropriate technique would be.
(5m 51s) And that’ll determine the angle, too, because, you know, that’s what I’m saying, there’s so many different, like, you know, okay, and you know how I have, I have a golden tongue, right?
(5m 58s) Who’s got the most magic thing?
(6m) I’m not. If I’m gonna guess I was gonna say
(6m 4s) You can no aspenosa really like he can literally like
(6m 10s) Back me up to a fucking wall stand there and get me off
(6m 13s) Nobody’s ever been able to do that. No, I like it’s I don’t he knows exactly what buttons to fucking hit You can’t even get my I can’t even get myself off with my fingers like that a plus the SP like that’s how fucking good it is What do we call them on the show? I think they count the accountants.
(6m 30s) I didn’t know what his name was on the show, so…
(6m 32s) But yeah, so that’s perfect for me. Like I said, there’s a time and a place for, like if you’re just messing around down there with your hand, like going in and out, it’s kind of fun, but it doesn’t really, like the engines already warmed up, like just fuck me.
(6m 49s) Like don’t, that’s never, just your fingers in and out of me is never going to get me off, and it’s not going to do anything.
(6m 54s) But if you’re like eating me out and then slide some in, then yeah, that combination…
(7m) But yeah, just going finger and like that isn’t going to change.
(7m 2s) Straight in, no way. You gotta go, you gotta go, you gotta go curvesies.
(7m 5s) You gotta hit that little button on the hood.
(7m 7s) Yeah, and then, here’s the thing.
(7m 8s) Well, that’s not the only button though either, so…
(7m 10s) I have this like very odd technique, and I want to ask you about this.
(7m 14s) I’ll slide… on back, I’ll slide hand… left arm, like under butt, and I’ll slide my thumb up and in.
(7m 23s) So instead of like doing this, I’m just going, I’m just going like this, on the inside.
(7m 30s) The thumb is up in there. I’m sucking titty, and I’m fucking flicking the bean at the same time.
(7m 37s) So I’m hitting on the inside, hitting on the top side, hitting on the opposite side of the eye.
(7m 42s) But I don’t, I like how the reporters reporting on this kind of stuff.
(7m 46s) Like what’s your story today? Yeah, fingering again.
(7m 50s) Like shit, you can get paid for that, is AI writing or something.
(7m 54s) Yeah, I know. You know, I came across this chick on Instagram recently, and she’s…
(8m) I’m sort of like an atomist, right? She studies anatomy.
(8m 4s) And we know that there’s not much research at all on like female anatomy, right?
(8m 9s) Like people still don’t know why women squirt, what causes it, what it is, all that shit.
(8m 14s) Because nobody’s fucking just ever cared, right?
(8m 16s) It’s just that. It’s the heavy end, not interrupted.
(8m 18s) But drug use too, even drugs, how drugs affect women.
(8m 21s) Because they study them on men, and just assume it’s going to happen.
(8m 24s) Yeah, exactly. But so we know that women are under research in general, for many things.
(8m 28s) but but this woman is and she had
(8m 30s) these little like 3D printed like clitoral like demonstrations like talking about how like everybody thinks it’s just this button about how like the internal structure like goes down and wraps around
(8m 40s) like the entrance and how they they’re pretty sure that the G-spy is actually the back side of
(8m 46s) the clay and that’s why you can get off that way it’s because it’s similar nerves but right you mean you figure you you go in that makes sense right so they’re starting to learn some things and
(8m 56s) She’s interesting because she’s been the couple that I’ve seen recently.
(9m) We’re talking about like squirting and the glands that that it comes from and how it’s not pee, but they
(9m 5s) But there can be trace amounts because these two glands wrap around the re-thread all these different things and she’s like But they still don’t know what causes it or why women do it all the time why women can’t do it Why a woman doesn’t want but can never figure out how to do it again because they don’t know and I’m like sign me up for that study
(9m 25s) this. You can research it. I mean, I never, I never, I never, I never, I never.
(9m 30s) like, not many people. I would, I would be willing to do that. You know, like, I, I, I, I don’t know how to get a hold of this one to be like, okay, what do you want to do? Like, how do we, how do we, we research this? Like, I, I, you know, you got me concerned now, though,
(9m 44s) now that you think of the squirt side of things, because it’s been a while since I’ve made my girl’s squirt. She used to squirt like crazy. I don’t know what’s going on. Is it a mind over matter thing? Am I not performing as much? I used to get it a squirty squirt squirt. It’s all over the place. Like, I got the em sprayer.
(10m) all over have to bring that up with her she was going on right but see but it’s but it’s hard to probably even figure out because they don’t even know what for us to begin with I can tell you this right now that any time I think Betty White’s Betty White quote you know what I’m going to go with this one she says why do they call everybody a pussy man as far as I know I could have the time I’ve seen a pussy you can really take a pounding right and I I’ve had someone in the past a little time here littleer than they they I was a little more gentle and didn’t want to like
(10m 30s) go I think when we in our drunken state of banging back before I think I was a little more just fucking go at it and that’s when the sport was a little bit more I was doing the win show wiper on the top and just fucking go I don’t know what I’ve been saying trying to while drunk just drunk you when you’re drunk you just go to town man how many times you fucking start licking assholes right here I’m gonna try to take my nose.
(11m) But I think part of it too is because you’re drunk and so everything’s somewhat desensitized so you have to go hard Gotta go harder, you know, and that comes from one to you, you know, so
(11m 8s) Go at it, maybe that man’s suck of fucking
(11m 10s) Clitoris where at it. That’s my favorite part though. This is the clip suck now So I know that if it’s like it’s like it’s like when it gets towards the end like I went down her last night And it was hilarious because it was it was getting to I had a long day I was cleaning doing what shit the house went so I get home and and she’s getting towards the night and she walks in She’s got a shower, she’s completely naked.
(11m 29s) to be like, “I’m gonna
(11m 30s) close.” She’s like, “Lock the door and we eat my pussy.” I’m like, “Yeah, duh.”
(11m 35s) You don’t even have to fucking ask. You just point at it and be like, “Get it out and do it.”
(11m 40s) You know? And I’m like, “Fuck it.” So I did it, but it’s like a rodeo. It’s funny watching, like when she’s about to come,
(11m 45s) she’s trying to shove my head out of there. And in my tongue, I do the Gene Simmons, man. I’ll go, I’ll go close, he’s on it and hitting it.
(11m 52s) But then she’s pushing away. I’m like, “I’m trying to hold on, trying to hit the clips, the longer it’s long as you can go.”
(11m 58s) She’s like, get me. And he may be.
(12m) I don’t know if you remember her. She’s from Greenville Blonde. You may not have ever interacted with her. That’s over a couple months. It was right right around COVID. I remember the first time like a COVID is when her and I kind of hit the brakes on stuff.
(12m 30s) Big tits, super fucking hot and she would drive over.
(12m 35s) We’d spend like four or five days together and but she was so sensitive that she wouldn’t let me touch any part of her body afterwards.
(12m 43s) She would come and get off and she’d be laying next to me and it would take her a minute or two to recover.
(12m 49s) I couldn’t even put my hand on her leg, couldn’t even put my hand on anything.
(12m 52s) There was nothing that her entire body would center into this fucking crazy shiver.
(13m) She was a smokeshower and she started.
(13m 5s) The one time we went, because she was in green, though, right?
(13m 8s) She was like, “Do you want to meet for lunch?”
(13m 9s) I’m like, “People lunch here in green, Bill.”
(13m 10s) She was like, “Yeah, let’s meet in like, Elma.”
(13m 14s) And I’m like, “Where?”
(13m 15s) Myer Park and I, in the back of it, and I’m like, “Okay.”
(13m 19s) She brought a van.
(13m 20s) She brought a mini van with her.
(13m 21s) She’s not hopping and we fucking go ahead in the mini van and buy her.
(13m 26s) All right, nice lunch, Brake, see ya.
(13m 29s) No, she’s, yeah.
(13m 30s) It’s fun.
(13m 31s) It’s a fun.
(13m 32s) Traveling with the kids, though.
(13m 33s) I remember she had two girls.
(13m 34s) I had my one at the time, and we went to Chicago and we would always want to, who would always want to fuck her on.
(13m 43s) And it was, we could get hotel rooms and she would have, it was like, “How are we going to sneakily bang?”
(13m 48s) You know, a hotel room sex?
(13m 49s) This hotel room sex is a fucking mess.
(13m 50s) You know what?
(13m 51s) You had it recently.
(13m 52s) Which, by the way, reminded me to bring something over the eyeliner.
(13m 55s) So yeah, I’m like, we got to, the only way to do it when you have a kids is to
(14m) go into the bathroom and in the shower and turn the shower on and make a bunch of noise and yeah.
(14m 4s) I hope I, I listened to the show when you’re talking about going to the hotel with the fireman.
(14m 11s) The funniest part of that old show is so subtle.
(14m 14s) It was Hatrick saying, you can’t find Hot Tub rooms anywhere anymore and then she rattles off like a half a dozen places with no Hot Tub rooms.
(14m 23s) I thought it was a fucking funny thing.
(14m 27s) She’s like, there’s no hot tub room here.
(14m 29s) There’s no hot tub room there.
(14m 30s) It’s like, Hatrick, you should do it.
(14m 31s) Shut it down like a trip advisor type of deal back in the day.
(14m 35s) The word of bang and hot tub rooms.
(14m 37s) Well, the first time we bangs in a hotel and I’m like, oh, that they have hot tub rooms.
(14m 44s) Because me and my ex would go just randomly.
(14m 47s) It was so good.
(14m 48s) They don’t have them anymore.
(14m 49s) They took them out.
(14m 50s) And then we were at fricking big E’s and I’m like, well, they have no, they took them out too.
(14m 55s) Anybody, if you know of anywhere where they hot tub room, make sure to call 9934-133-14
(15m 1s) little list of hot tub rooms, local mid-mission style, she’ll give you, she’ll give you a rave review. So maybe, maybe she’ll take a picture of her snitch and give it to you.
(15m 8s) It’s funny because like, he and I have never gotten a room with a hot tub in it, right? It’s just been one of those like, Oh, it’d be fun. But it’s turned into now whenever like he travels,
(15m 19s) he sends me bathroom shots of like, Oh, this would be a good shower to fucking like the one time he was in like Vegas. I think it was a huge, like stand up shower with a bench and everything.
(15m 28s) And I’m like, yeah, that would be good if fucking like he was just out of town.
(15m 31s) for work and it was him and some guys and they were all at an air B and B instead of a hotel and stuff and he had like the bathroom and sure enough I had this big like tub in it and I’m like like I just literally just get a picture no context just a picture I’m like your picture I mean we’ve never even fucked anything like that but the fact that every time he sees it he thinks about fucking me and one I’m like wow that’s all you can do it.
(15m 54s) It is. It’s the hell like that. It’s good. Not to go full circle on this entire conversation here but…
(16m 2s) Hot tub fingerblasting at my knob.
(16m 6s) I guess I just had this whole remember it’s of the Janet Jackson concert that I heard I went to.
(16m 12s) And her sister is standing next to us and we were so fucking drunk because I was finger under at the damn Janet Jackson concert and then we don’t even know where we got the hot tub room but that’s what she specifically looked up hot tub room. I think we went like not towards home Not towards us up here. We went south further down
(16m 31s) We don’t even recall. I can’t remember where the hell it was that we got their room all in or that we made it This is a full circle drunk idiocy finger blast
(16m 38s) Hot tub moment. She may have squirted that night, too. I had been a four-for-four
(16m 46s) I had to work the next day, too. I remember getting to work a little bit later than normal, but Jesus Christ the dumb shit we used to do I miss it
(16m 56s) I do miss doing things for the plot. Yeah, I mean occasionally
(17m 1s) I woke up to a dick pic today. Oh, I thought you could say dick on your forehead or something. No
(17m 7s) But from that frickin 19 year old that was well, he’s 20 now
(17m 14s) Toss him off to the side. No, I literally wake up to a frickin dick pic, and then
(17m 20s) Hey, I just broke up with my girlfriend. I miss you
(17m 24s) We never even hooked up, dude. I need some head. That’s what that is. Oh, what a hundred percent. I’m just like oh my god
(17m 31s) So let me head to the stack of dick pics. I got that people who want me to blow them. It was funny. I’m just like that’s
(17m 38s) Jesus Christ that kid was born
(17m 41s) 2005 what what year is it 20 he’s 20 now, so he was born in 2006 Jesus my children were born in 2009
(17m 50s) Shit hat trick god damn it. I never got into the 2000s. I almost did I think it was a
(17m 55s) 99 but that’s one that I’m like at first I was hesitant like but I am curious for the plot
(18m 1s) Because he is so much younger than me
(18m 3s) Wow, he’s a hockey player. Here’s the thing. Mm-hmm. You’re you were born. Maybe he’s got a friend
(18m 9s) You’re an 85 or 86. 86 or okay. Yes, one 86 to 2000
(18m 17s) six oh
(18m 20s) That’s what you’re fucking great. You’re better than me. She’s better than all both of us. Let’s be real always
(18m 27s) she has the vagina of course she is it’s true and then she’s got
(18m 31s) The boobs speaking of the boob is I found a reason to watch soccer or at least get clips of fake soccer through AI Are you ready for this? Sure. It’s time it was just during the USA game that they just I have no idea what game it is And it’s it’s all AI so it doesn’t matter, but it’s a reason for me to give a shit about stalker
(18m 49s) Like last week what was it Christian Ronaldo’s fear and say his butt cheeks that was the reason this reason is fake AI
(18m 58s) fake AI content here of
(19m 1s) soccer Soccer peeps, okay, this is this is why I would watch soccer right here
(19m 7s) Girls in the stands just whipping their titties out so I don’t know what is that Brazil Which which they are doing each of the countries and I tried to get I know the what I’m more astonished at is how
(19m 18s) It’s fake. It’s AI, but it doesn’t matter those titties still
(19m 23s) Let me say this one’s particular this one in particular Jesus look at that shit
(19m 29s) Hatchet damage looks good as yours.
(19m 31s) I wonder that that’s a very good question and if it is, it’s very wrong that I’m staring at these and want to jack off to them.
(19m 57s) to him, for sure. I know it, Jesus Christ.
(20m 1s) So I’m gonna keep this on loop. You guys have to concentrate for this whole situation. I’m gonna just do this. There we go I’m gonna zoom in and you guys get to look at Tata’s the whole time. Okay. What do you think of that? Try to concentrate now boys and girls
(20m 13s) There you go. I do like
(20m 17s) Who knows that you’re still staring at a lot of them. I am. Well. Yeah
(20m 21s) Why would I not they’re nice to you? I’m sorry. I’m not gonna leave the titties up I’m gonna look at these one more kind of damn time time ago because that’s my, if I had to pick any of them, that girl’s the one.
(20m 29s) I want to see the blinds next to her.
(20m 31s) The blind night to show. Yeah, isn’t it funny how the ones that they don’t show, don’t you’re like, “Oh, I’m out. I’m out. I’m out.”
(20m 37s) This one, this one, before with that, with the under-boob that was just like, “Just teases it. Just teases it. I’m takin’ it out, yeah.”
(20m 43s) Yeah, the black chick, them so those some nice brown sugar titties there. It’s all good, but everybody you got to have.
(20m 49s) I get out.
(20m 50s) So I call this silver lining to why soccer sucks, but boobies are awesome.
(20m 54s) So, anyway, I gotta get this off the screen how this one is fucking started to get a boner.
(21m 1s) I had a bow to this morning man, she said we bang last night we had a lot of fun and then I woke up hard as a rock again I was like oh god we’re gonna go out of it again didn’t we didn’t end up going at it again
(21m 10s) But it was because we have to have serious adult conversations because of all of the extra things going on. I know with all this
(21m 18s) I don’t like it I mean, oh, I do I there’s part of me that’s very kind of excited about it, but at the same time not excited about it
(21m 26s) Let me find some other stuff. I got so much stuff. I gathered to show you motherfuckers
(21m 31s) This guy, okay, we have to we have to watch this because last week we talked about hogging. Do you remember it?
(21m 39s) And how we may have to bring up another hogging story, but here’s you’re gonna love this guy this guy’s a Michigan dude We featured him before he’s a
(21m 47s) I can’t remember what his fucking name is this is the dude. I was talking about last week. That’s great. Yep
(21m 53s) That’s what inspired me to bring up the whole conversation
(21m 56s) He’s like some ex donor band guy. He’s super fucking holy
(22m 1s) hilarious. He was like some army recruiter dude or some shit. He’s hilarious though.
(22m 7s) Okay, so let me replace on this guy. He added fat bitch is that he always is bar and torch like good on you, good on you. Fat bitch is these days like menthols, camel crush is a good combo because it’s a little bit of everything and micha-lobaltra, but menthols and micha-lobaltra is a Fucking combo from fucking gettin’ your d–
(22m 31s) Dicksuck by a fat bitch in a parking lot of a bar that’s got a fucking gravel parking lot, brother.
(22m 39s) Continue to follow the fucking blueprint, man. Continue to fuck these fat bitches. Fat bitches got the best fucking pussy.
(22m 47s) They really fucking do. I remember fucking this big fucking fat bitch, and she had a hello kitty top of the foot tattoo, and she was just fucking wild.
(22m 58s) you can just beat it up man you can just
(23m 1s) beat that fucking pussy up I fuck so hard and every fat bitch I fucked I’d like to think I punished to some degree so go find a fucking hog up god damn it yeah why there are internet take a fucking dump around us yeah he’s still got more look at how fucked up this dude looks he’s he’s wasted fucking doing this but he is hilarious I love this guy he’s so fucking good his poopy He turns big, he’s like, “Oh my God, I’m over this Instagram.”
(23m 31s) Poopy turns big, he needs to get, if he’s a local guy we got, I mean he’s a Michigan somewhere, we got to somehow either call him up, get him in, I would love to meet this dude in person. He says shit that, he says it the way that I think it like, every time he’s like, “Get in his DMs and send him, be like, “Hey, stuff’s great,
(23m 50s) here’s, listen to my podcast. We love you, love to get you, love you. And a long time guy, yeah,
(23m 56s) he’s a great dude.” I have featured him in the past, but this is who you were talking about last year. Yeah, that’s what to do it anyway. To poop it here’s my giggle, look him up on Instagram. I’m going to feature two Instagram people later on that are great too. So, Hatrick Ray, it’s bang time. Like, what did you do? What’s your count? We haven’t seen you in like 14 days. How many times have you been big at a bang? We’re calculating this up. We’re doing an average, we’re doing it. We have an Excel spreadsheet now. Well, he was on a town last week, but it’s we’re at like four times this week and I think he’s coming over tomorrow morning. So, he was over after he was gone and I’ll eat.
(24m 31s) He literally pulled into my driveway two minutes after my children left last weekend.
(24m 36s) ‘Cause it’s waiting down the road, it gets vernaculars out.
(24m 38s) Well, it was funny because I told him, like, you know, I told him when they were leaving and stuff and I’m like,
(24m 42s) and they always, like, daily, my daughter, daily, so he knows by now it’s always like,
(24m 48s) give it like an extra 10 minutes and so I told him, I’m like, this is when they’re leaving.
(24m 51s) Give it, you know, 10, 15 or so at least, I’ll let you know when it’s clear.
(24m 55s) 10 minutes before I told him they were leaving and he’s like, is it clear yet?
(24m 58s) I’m like, Jesus Christ.
(25m) But you said he saw it.
(25m 2s) – It was so funny, so he was over.
(25m 4s) And it was funny ’cause like I told,
(25m 5s) did I tell you guys about how my neighbors now have called me out on this?
(25m 8s) – Uh-oh, uh-oh.
(25m 9s) – I didn’t bring this up, but all did it, oh my God.
(25m 11s) So my, my one neighbors are an older couple,
(25m 14s) not the ones you’re passed out and the other one.
(25m 16s) – How about the ones, is just the ones that we’re watching you do your foot picks and stuff?
(25m 20s) Different, different names?
(25m 21s) – These are the ones that, if anybody would have seen it,
(25m 23s) it had been them, but yeah, so the older ones,
(25m 26s) the ones on the other side are for me.
(25m 27s) – I like the whole answer.
(25m 28s) – You were doing sexy foot picks with your daughter.
(25m 30s) Get on!
(25m 32s) But anyway, oh yeah, cuz she was yelling at me, and I just ignored everything. Yeah, I forgot about that. So anyways, like they were an older couple and
(25m 40s) Like they’re they’re front door actually faces the side of faces in my house I’m like everything’s grown over on my yard But there’s you can still kind of see through a little bit and I’ve I’ve thought about it like when that the day that
(25m 51s) Twenty-seven rolled over and then as soon as he left the fireman came over. I remember thinking and I’m like
(25m 57s) God, I wonder if they
(25m 59s) Like saw this and I like what the hell is
(26m 2s) going on. Right. I don’t even know like oh she saw me out doing some yard work and so I went was chatting with him and stuff and so were Chad and she’s like so you got a new man. I’m like I don’t got a man. She’s like well there’s this blue truck man she’s like I can almost tell what time of day it is but the time he pulls into your driveway and I’m dying like I knew it because like it’s they’re they’re front their front door and so living room with window faces my house.
(26m 32s) and I’m just dying and so we’re you know you know I filled him in on everything and I just just spoke about. Oh my god yeah that’s what I said it was so funny man I’m just cracking up I’m like oh my god a girl has me she had said something she’s like so it was last it was over the weekend you know when he’d come over like said rolled over and then it was later in the evening I was chilling at home I get a text from her their dog had gotten out and like I said they’re both older and disabled so they have a hard time. I’m like, yep, I’ll be right over. Like, let me, you know, I’ll see if I can grab
(27m 2s) them and stuff. And he was a couple of houses down and he came right to me. So I got him back in the house for him. And so they’re like, oh, come on, sit down, whatever. I was like,
(27m 8s) no, no, like, I was already like, I literally had to put pants on to come over because I was just chilling. I’m like, nope, I want to go back and chill out to house. And she says that she’s like, man,
(27m 18s) she’s like, so you’re afraid to came over. And I was like, yeah, she’s like, man, I look up. I see your kids there. Next thing I know he was there. He must have come over, right? Oh my God, she’s She said I was dying. I’m like oh my god. I was three. Yeah, it was crackable
(27m 32s) me up. Well, then their dog ended up because he was like all just wound up from being out and everything and so he was kind of all around me and he just he slobbered all over. He’s a big black lab. He’s slobbered all over my leg. And I noticed and so I was going to go before I could, you know, I was gonna like find some paper towels.
(27m 48s) He hit the husband and he’s like oh he’s like oh he got he’s slobbered all over you. Let me get you some paper towels and gets it. He’s like oh he’s like bet you that’s what it looked like when your friend was over.
(27m 58s) – Oh my god!
(27m 58s) – Oh my god!
(27m 59s) – Oh my god!
(28m) – I’m inside!
(28m 2s) – Oh my god, that is awesome.
(28m 5s) – Oh my god!
(28m 5s) – They’re like in their, I say that they’re older.
(28m 9s) They’re only in their sixties,
(28m 10s) but they’re like an old sixties.
(28m 11s) Because like, he had a stroke.
(28m 13s) She’s had cancer like three times.
(28m 15s) You know what I mean?
(28m 16s) – Holy shit.
(28m 16s) – They’ve lived their lives.
(28m 17s) – And they’re sixties, but they’re an old sixties.
(28m 20s) Like, if I wouldn’t know that they were in the sixties,
(28m 22s) I’d guess, like, mid to late seventies.
(28m 24s) Just because of all the health problems they’ve had.
(28m 25s) – And just because they’re living vicariously to you now.
(28m 28s) – Well, it’s funny, ’cause I ended up texting the fire when I let him know he was cracking out.
(28m 32s) – Okay, next time I see him, I’ll make sure I wave.
(28m 34s) – Dude, I was so funny.
(28m 36s) – Yeah, exactly.
(28m 37s) They’re checking up on you next week.
(28m 39s) We’re gonna give him a call and she actually will have on these off-weeks at a hat trick’s not gonna be in.
(28m 44s) We’re gonna tell them to call them up and be like,
(28m 46s) “Hey, what’s going on up there?”
(28m 47s) – I was supposed to be over.
(28m 48s) Well, and I said something to the one time she was joking,
(28m 50s) ’cause she was talking about the afternoon ones.
(28m 52s) And I was like, “Well, you know, he gets out of work “and swings over and stuff.”
(28m 54s) I’m like, “Well, how early are you up in the morning?
(28m 56s) “You don’t ever see him come over at like fourth or three “in the morning?
(28m 58s) She’s like what she’s like no, I’m still sleeping in my guy. Good then
(29m 2s) he’s not waking you guys up or waking the dog up to bark. She is a dress. That’s fucking great.
(29m 7s) You know you got to wonder, you know at some point in I don’t know if this is just me being much more clear-minded. When when did the debaucherous stuff stop? Like when was the last fucked up thing you got into and did you realize that that was the last time you fucking got to it? I mean what I mean?
(29m 26s) It’s like I think you never know what’s the last time right? Like you never know what’s the last time. Yeah, that’s a bit.
(29m 33s) I know. This is the fourth is like we can know. I know that we’re going to be releasing this show next week on Thursday.
(29m 39s) So I want to but I still wanted to play a little ditty for us here. Let me see if I can let’s see if this works.
(29m 44s) This is how I feel about America these days. Let’s see if this guy this thing things sums it up for us.
(29m 50s) If it was my internet inner web working, I may not be working here. Let me switch it again. No.
(29m 57s) Let’s see here. It’s going to take a quick you second. We’ll take out this dead air in the meantime.
(30m 2s) and then I had the mics, I don’t, sometimes that works.
(30m 6s) So, that’s hilarious, I had to think that they’re checking out.
(30m 11s) Like you said, how many times have you done this before?
(30m 13s) You see a couple or something, you’re wondering,
(30m 15s) hmm, when I want to explain that to you.
(30m 16s) And I’ve thought about it too, like I said,
(30m 18s) that time I thought, I’m like, oh my God, I’m like,
(30m 19s) if anybody, ’cause there were some dudes cutting trees and they’re yard that day, and I’m like,
(30m 24s) so there are guys out there that would have seen it and have no clue, maybe some curiosity.
(30m 29s) You know, but I’ve thought, especially about the ones that are like middle of the night,
(30m 32s) but it’s like, yeah, four or five in the morning,
(30m 34s) before most people are up.
(30m 36s) Here’s our story.
(30m 37s) You know, where it comes over, and I think my neighbor,
(30m 39s) like my other neighbors, they’re bedrooms right next to my driver.
(30m 41s) So do you think they can hear you?
(30m 43s) You can hear me for sure.
(30m 44s) Yeah.
(30m 45s) Okay, here we listen, this is what America is.
(30m 47s) We’ll probably start the show up with this song as well,
(30m 49s) just because, here you go, it’s us.
(30m 54s) ♪ The American place is a red flag ♪ ♪ Yeah, baby, you know what time it is ♪ ♪ We can see that flag America bitch ♪ Founded on genocide built on slavery In the only country that’s ever dropped a nuclear bomb on human beings that pretend good guys one million dead Our wacky’s can’t be wrong. We got our tails people building their 35
(31m 14s) Killin six year old girls all across the world from maximum profit to life the pockets of our god owners
(31m 19s) America bitch we deserve whatever we get
(31m 25s) This high field open some tax
(31m 29s) It’s fucking good, and now I feel most the time
(31m 32s) And I was just talking to some friends of mine like it pit this should be the best fucking fourth of July ever because one It’s a fucking weekend and two. It’s a 250th birthday of our country and it should be insane It should be party. It should be it should be it should be fucking awesome And it is a fucking dud because nobody is fucking proud of it. No, nobody is nobody can afford a lot of the That too, but you know what I’m saying like I’m not you know to blame it on it was too hot for anybody to do any
(32m 2s) A fucking say you watch you watch the fuck no, and I’ve seen the best thing about it, too That like it’s it’s funny, you know, because it’s so loud how how many supporters he had that they’re like look at bots can’t show up in person
(32m 14s) That’s exactly I didn’t click to me until I saw that and I’m like you’re fucking right I’m like that’s why it’s has nothing to do with people being able to afford it I mean, yeah, some of it’s true a supporters can’t like there’s only so many people that are gonna go there But like I’ve seen pictures of the bicentennial
(32m 30s) Yeah, it was in the fight
(32m 33s) It was awesome and it we should be able to do that and nobody fucking wants to like I have not
(32m 40s) Like felt patriotic for a fourth of July and at least a decade since he was president the first time, you know what I’m saying?
(32m 46s) Like I’ve not felt that
(32m 49s) It’s true and that he like that he is fucking ruined that so that potential celebration for all of us It’s the most on a bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What we’re gonna say, but let’s go to say the AI part that’s also why the
(33m 2s) they don’t want mail-in voting as I’ve seen because you can’t control that like you can if you want to never thought of it. Yeah. And everything as well. So you can’t fraud it on that. And I was like, well, at least shit, that’s well, yeah, that’s what they’ve been saying for ever since he started talking about mail-in voting because you can’t manipulate the computers and stuff like that.
(33m 21s) Yeah. I’m going to play another clip. I don’t get this one as being since I was there in 1976 and I was one. I was 11 and it was I mean, it was big.
(33m 33s) It should be like this should be fucking awesome. I mean, as like I said, in the fact that it felt like that it align at a weekend. Like, oh my gosh, man, this we should have been ramping up all week for this huge fucking celebration. And no, like now any anybody that I see say happy to 50th, I assume is fucking mega. Yes.
(33m 52s) Well, just like people that fly American flags, I assume is fucking mega and that’s so fucked. I know that is so fuck. It is back in my shirt, right? No, you’ve been sitting down the whole time.
(34m 3s) It’s what it’s saying. What it’s saying? You’d be like, oh, yeah, he’s probably fucking mega if you didn’t know that. 100%. I was saying 250 years. I would 100% not knowing you seeing you in public. I would assume you’re a douchebag. Yep.
(34m 19s) But again, the thought fair because there’s that you should be able to be patriotic, right? Like you should be able to and it’s, but that’s my gut reaction. And I know that that’s not the case for everybody, but it’s so fucked that they have they have taken that for months.
(34m 32s) You want to know the thing that crosses my mind. It’s it’s the same thought that when you see a Confederate flag or the Nazi swastika, you have this like this bad taste in your mouth when you see that stuff. And you the last thing someone who really loves America is born in America wants is for that potentially to be what happens when you see the stars and stripes. That to me is scary as fuck because when you grow up as a kid, the pledge of allegiance and you could. There’s this red weight in blue. We’re very proud patriotic people.
(35m 3s) the only thing that, you know, right now, this is one of the saving things that I have to say about the soccer stuff is that they’re putting a lot of pressure on this team from what I hear that to help bring people together and to do this, to kind of have that sense of, you know,
(35m 19s) patriotism again. Of course, we have to play a communist sport to do it. We got it.
(35m 23s) Well, and I think I talked about this last time. Like, those have been some of my favorite real that those are things that have actually made me proud of my country again as all these these foreigners that have come here for the world cup and just celebrating the thing.
(35m 33s) You know, like, I’m watching Independence Day last night as I as I as I am want to do this time of year because one it’s a good movie to do. Jeff Goldblum was at his peak hotness and that’s slightly way for your life. So, but I’m watching that this year and I was watching it last night and looking at it.
(36m 3s) And I’m like, God, if that happened with this, if this actually happened, but if this administration was in, they would run so fast.
(36m 13s) They would be fucking gone. Like, I’m watching the speech before the freaking Bill Pullman gets in the fighter pipe jet to go help, right? And I’m just like, absolutely not.
(36m 24s) That would never happen. It wouldn’t be our country leading this at all. Our country would not be leading this charge.
(36m 29s) you would not have figured it out.
(36m 30s) It would have had to be somebody else,
(36m 31s) ’cause you, it wouldn’t be ours.
(36m 33s) Though I did see a little bit of Pete Haggzeth in that secretary of defense,
(36m 37s) ’cause he’s this nivling little weasel in that movie.
(36m 39s) And I’m like, well, that tracks, yeah, for sure.
(36m 41s) But like, it was just, it was interesting watching it with that perspective of like,
(36m 44s) oh, this would definitely not be the case.
(36m 48s) There you go.
(36m 49s) You start cream in your jeans.
(36m 50s) There you go.
(36m 50s) See that one right there in the middle with him.
(36m 52s) That’s from Independence Day.
(36m 53s) That is when he was like nine years.
(36m 55s) Do you know that shirt?
(36m 56s) No, but like that’s where he,
(36m 58s) with that low cut fucking wife beater.
(37m) And I love whether they sneak Allen Cummings in there.
(37m 3s) That’s funny.
(37m 4s) Well, that’s who said who said who said to the left of him?
(37m 6s) That’s the same one coming to you.
(37m 7s) Oh, this guy here.
(37m 8s) I had no idea.
(37m 9s) I can’t tell it.
(37m 10s) Some model that looks like a little bit.
(37m 12s) Oh, look at the love.
(37m 13s) But that’s what I’m saying, like it.
(37m 15s) It’s good.
(37m 16s) I mean, yeah, Patrick,
(37m 17s) I like to hear your heads out with the Independence Day stuff.
(37m 19s) And again, I was alive for about only a year old.
(37m 22s) How old were you in the, when we celebrate 200?
(37m 26s) I was 11.
(37m 27s) So you were able to.
(37m 29s) Oh, yeah.
(37m 30s) It was a big deal in our school.
(37m 31s) I mean I still find bias in telling you.
(37m 33s) I mean you know what I mean like that was such a thing and nobody fucking was the president’s head on it
(37m 38s) On the corner I don’t know on the back of it. Yeah, but no, there wasn’t there. Do you want to put his name on everything?
(37m 47s) Because he’s dying didn’t want his face on you know somebody’s passport or Mount Rushmore or
(37m 54s) What the fuck dude?
(37m 56s) No, I just use like do you don’t want to know which reel came up on my feet this morning And I’m so happy.
(38m 3s) I’m gonna I’m gonna fucking play it for you. Yeah, please you’re gonna know exactly what it is And this is this is peak in a penance day everything
(38m 27s) Is it a player where to mishap is it I love player work to mishaps. Oh my god
(38m 33s) The parking the driveway one is the one where he’s in the frickin electric wheelchair and can’t move. Oh
(38m 38s) You’ve never seen this. Oh, my god. I’m sending it here right now. My words mishaps are my favorite
(38m 44s) I love hearing the stories Never see this one’s blasted. Oh, there’s memes every year. Like I you know, I hope Terry’s wheelchairs fully charged
(38m 53s) This goes back to like getting older and not big attention My god, this has been out for years. I can’t even I don’t even know what year it came out But every year it’s just like I gotta see it There’s two things that I celebrate on the
(39m 3s) 4th it’s Randy Quaid saving humanity. Oh, I love yeah, and Terry like those are my two heroes for them for the delay I want to talk to El Presidante here. He brought up the wonderful world of tailors who have to visit your day
(39m 18s) Yeah, we had like so we could do great. Can I just say before we start making fun of it?
(39m 23s) Because I don’t care Adam Sandler officiated the wedding. I heard and that yes
(39m 29s) That’s a whole new respect to this situation.
(39m 33s) Okay, like I don’t care about this, but that’s fucking awesome. Yeah, yeah, I’ve seen it so many places We can’t make fun of it now. Alright. That’s why I wanted to get it We can make fun of all you want, but I had to get that one out that that’s well I mean cuz Travis Kelsey was in the new Happy Gilmore movie. Oh, can I see that? Yeah, you know
(39m 52s) Me talking about it. They’re like oh that was Travis’s one thing he got to pick
(40m 3s) So that must have been there something old, but that’s what that’s where I meant like I couldn’t care less about that Kind of stuff like because I generally don’t care about celebrity news, but when I say that I was like, okay That’s pretty fucking awesome, and I hope it was as hilarious as I imagine it being yes
(40m 21s) That’s that you totally say that but and I’m not gonna complain about it is something that trust me I could use some more distractions as far as things go in life now when it comes to like the serious side of things and
(40m 33s) We’re all getting fucked and how are the presidents to make a two billion dollars in a year and we’re fucking barely able to
(40m 38s) Forward anything with this guy here. I just get that feature him for the the Valenti
(40m 42s) He he has a different take on the whole thing about and this this this kind of does hit home because we run into this during parades during
(40m 50s) Fireworks festival all these things the problems that that this this whole thing brought upon people parts of New York City So the Taylor Swift can have a private wedding to her alcohol a husband
(41m 1s) We’re talking about some billionaire bitch who bow
(41m 3s) to be on board with this shit shutting down businesses on july fourth weekend in the middle of the fucking fiefa world cup so that some woman some random fuck it’s dude and I know you know it’s not some random woman it’s Taylor Swift exactly it’s Taylor Swift it’s a random
(41m 33s) fucking country singer and a shit wanted that too and we’re praising her like she’s the fucking queen of England you boot licking fucking loser well no and it’s funny that you play that because I had seen some stuff about that too about having to close down some I’m like okay that’s that’s the part I’ll piss some more about a little bit like I would be that I do get that you know but then I’ve also seen some people and I whether I who knows if it was intentional but like how you know the focus this weekend can’t be on Trump because it’s
(42m 3s) on Taylor Swift and she took that from him and I’m like whether it was intentional and out okay I’ll I’m fine with that it’s working even if it wasn’t intentional I’ll take that you know what I mean so it’s like again I couldn’t care less it doesn’t affect me I’m not in New York so it doesn’t affect me like yeah I it sucks for the people that it does affect that are living in that vicinity that may have had to deal with I forgot about it but again I don’t I don’t fucking care well one of the other things I saw this week because it has been so sweltering hot all over you know the United States is a New York which there’s always been issues with brownouts and things like that it’s always to keep your temperature in your house from 75 to 78 it’s nothing new but again because of the sick of fans on Fox News and everything else to take away from the Trump Epstein files and whatever else you know with it they keep on focusing now that’s communism because they’re telling people not to over you know load the circuit and everything else and they’re like much more than that you know that’s a little bit of infrastructure-wise as far as any foreign country me able to just click a button and hack into the grid turn shit off just really fuck stuff what we’ve seen how like when we started this war with Iran they even said they’re like we don’t have any intentions of bombing you because we know that it’s not the people’s fault you know what I mean and like if a country that fucked can even recognize that they don’t want to do that right I mean like it goes back to that freaking song you played we are the only country that has ever dropped a nuclear bomb on people it’s like it is us yeah you know what I mean and so I think I’ve got to have that hope and that that outlook that The reason that there because like I truly believe that arc this current administration would do that to us before a foreign government even if it’s one like that that we’re at war with I 100% believe that it would be them over us I mean they’ve already done these things to show that they don’t care about any of us and as long as they’re okay and cushy you know like if they were if if they were in Independence Day they would go hide and be in their bunker and not give two fucks about the rest of the country at all yeah fucking all unless somebody was like hey if you can get ahead of like you know you I mean I try to keep up with this shit but it’s still fucking hard to do but that really does snap things into a little bit more perspective I think when it comes to people not showing up to this fucking 250 and it’s celebration
(45m 4s) showed up to not be a guest to her wedding than they showed up to this.
(45m 7s) So that tells you things,
(45m 8s) like all this Taylor Swift hate and you can love her Hater, like whatever.
(45m 12s) – She looks pretty good.
(45m 14s) – I think she’s gorgeous.
(45m 15s) She makes popular music, you know what I mean?
(45m 18s) And in regardless of the whole,
(45m 19s) you know, trips on the plane that she’s, you know, whatever,
(45m 23s) she does donate money.
(45m 24s) They just announced that they donated like $30 million to various charities, including Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, which is awesome.
(45m 30s) Like, I mean, I know that’s only a fraction
(45m 34s) of their fortune, but that’s still a lot of fucking money that’s going to do a lot of good.
(45m 37s) You know what I mean?
(45m 38s) – Where’s the stories of you on?
(45m 39s) The Trillionaire keeps away, so I’m saying,
(45m 40s) he’s got more money.
(45m 41s) Trump’s got more money, and they’re not doing shit.
(45m 43s) They’re just taking it from you.
(45m 44s) So regardless of that being a fraction of her fortune,
(45m 47s) they’re still doing something.
(45m 50s) – ‘Cause when they, ’cause they know that it shouldn’t be Taylor Swift’s responsibility to make sure that the country is,
(45m 56s) I don’t care if she’s got a billion dollars.
(45m 58s) – No, yeah.
(45m 59s) – I don’t fucking care that she has a billion dollars ’cause she’s not other than in ticket sales
(46m 4s) like that, she’s not taking it from people like they are,
(46m 6s) like Musk is, like Bezos says, like Trump is.
(46m 9s) You know what I’m saying?
(46m 9s) So, to me, that’s different.
(46m 11s) – That’s greedy, Fox, what’s fucked up about it is,
(46m 13s) they could be doing all that shit,
(46m 15s) but all the dastardly crap that they’re doing just completely pushes that to the back burner,
(46m 20s) and who’s going to even believe that they’re doing anything good?
(46m 23s) – Elon Musk’s set put out there a while ago that if somebody could figure out how to solve World Hunger, he would do it.
(46m 31s) And was it who?
(46m 34s) you know if it was I don’t know what organization did, but they’re like this is how you do it and it would cost like six billion dollars
(46m 40s) Which is a fraction of his fucking fortune and he was just like man, never mind
(46m 48s) And that’s what I don’t get like ice what if I had that much money
(46m 53s) Do you know how much I would want to help people to be like ah, I am the fucking billionaire that helped all you fuckers Well, you know what I mean We don’t even have that now and I feel grew you know giving it doing stuff for somebody
(47m 5s) These people and I’ve said it before on the show they’re fucking psychotic like they’re the mental illness there that they’re so fucking greedy that They just stop caring. You know what I mean?
(47m 14s) Like Jeff Bezos was talking about how he really you know humans are gonna have to make sacrifice for water for AI centers Are you fucking kidding me fuck that are you fucking kidding me so this past week also because of a lot of
(47m 28s) Trump had to release Where what he’s made or everything like that and then all of a sudden
(47m 34s) he’s like, but I’m going to start giving money to this and to this charity and this place is trying to distract everybody of the old distraction thing. That’s the same way about, you know, the whole plane that he got, you know, that, that to fly in for the first time this week that he gets to keep there’s just so much shed, it’s still about the reflection pool all it’s still about the whole 250 celebration that one of his buddies got the no big contract to put it on.
(48m 5s) The company that did that and the structures are falling apart. It’s like some kind of screen. I said if you take photos on the outside of it, it’s like a curtainish kind of thing that they’re finding all these flaws with that they’re pocketing the money.
(48m 21s) The thing that immediately struck me is he’s going to take this first plane trip. Can you imagine if those if they somehow didn’t sweep the plane enough and there’s like some detonation device or some shit in there.
(48m 34s) It was two or three US presidents have died on July 4th. They’re like, just throwing that fact out there for no reason whatsoever. And he’s supposedly going to be making some hour long speech and like a hundred degree stuff. Yeah. Because just to prove that he can. Okay. Nobody, nobody’s going to go out there. Please let him go out there. You do what you do. That would be the best for our country between him and Mitch McConnell. Did you see the one?
(49m 4s) I saw the one meme. It was maybe we’re maybe we’re getting all this heat right now because the gates of hell have opened up. And this is what I want to tell everybody. Okay. I will put we kind of put myself out there as being like the center of all of the devious night and all these wacky weird fucking under, you know, like devilish type things. But I’m, you know, it’s all a fucking play and it’s all not these people as a get older. Do they not consider the fact that?
(49m 34s) Okay. I can keep gathering all this cash. I can keep being this greedy fuck. I can keep doing all of this stuff that just goes against. You, you think you’re doing the good. Is that the good? Are you at what point do they do? Do they just came back today? They would call him a woke liberal and not let him into our country. It’s so bad. You know, I don’t think Jesus will want to come to the United States. I know, but like I’ll stay over here.
(50m 4s) He’s a brown, liberal fucking woke person.
(50m 8s) They’d be like, no, no, no, no, no, you know,
(50m 10s) they pick and choose what they listen to, you know,
(50m 12s) what they believe in and shit.
(50m 13s) Like if their hell exists, they’re all fucking going there.
(50m 17s) But was it at last you that Trump made some comment?
(50m 19s) I’m like, I don’t think I’m getting into heaven.
(50m 21s) No fucking shit.
(50m 22s) You think it was probably right after they gave him the first diagnosis or whatever the fuck he’s got.
(50m 28s) Yeah, cause he jumped to the, he literally has a protocol
(50m 34s) or the one person that used it according to them.
(50m 40s) Yeah, it’s, it’s nuts.
(50m 42s) I want to, I teased something last week with you.
(50m 44s) Well, Perez, it’s the segment we’re bringing back, okay?
(50m 49s) And it’s in the works, but I made a song about it first that I want to play for everybody before.
(50m 56s) Okay, so there’s a short one.
(50m 59s) Let’s see if this is the right one here.
(51m 1s) Nope, that’s not it.
(51m 2s) – That’s not a.
(51m 5s) Okay, it might be on my phone.
(51m 6s) Anyway, the segment is “Guess Her Muff.”
(51m 11s) It’s a game show we did years ago.
(51m 14s) Do you recall, do you recall playing “Guess Her Muff?”
(51m 16s) You probably never played “Guess Her Muff” before.
(51m 18s) There was a website, “GuessHer Muff.com”
(51m 20s) that would have photos of what appeared to be average
(51m 25s) every day for people.
(51m 27s) It was like a photo of like, “Yeah, it could have been anybody.”
(51m 29s) Could have been like a school teacher could have been like anything, right?
(51m 31s) “Guess Her Muff,” right?
(51m 32s) And somehow they had naked photos of you.
(51m 34s) You could play along.
(51m 41s) We’ve done this before.
(51m 42s) I’ll find the clip of it later on.
(51m 44s) But you would say, hey guys, we’re going to play guest from off.
(51m 46s) And if you want to play along, go to the guest from a website.
(51m 49s) Here are the numbers we’re going to do today.
(51m 51s) We would give people the numbers.
(51m 52s) They could type the numbers in, boom, and play along to guest them off.
(51m 55s) And what it was was, it was a photo of a woman fully dressed.
(51m 58s) You had to guess if she had a full bush.
(52m 5s) Completely gone or vagazzled.
(52m 9s) So we had a segment we took.
(52m 12s) We took turns.
(52m 13s) All right.
(52m 14s) What do you think, Patrick?
(52m 15s) You’re up first.
(52m 16s) You got to guess what is it?
(52m 17s) And we kept points.
(52m 18s) We did the whole fucking thing.
(52m 20s) So I haven’t gone back to see if the guest from off website is still there.
(52m 25s) I have a feeling it may have, they may have gotten rid of it.
(52m 28s) And today is culture.
(52m 29s) We had guest muffs.
(52m 31s) You never know where the mother picture came from.
(52m 34s) It’s an iffy thing, but the internet archive will have the old guess her Muff website and that’s what I plan on using to re
(52m 41s) Imagine guess her Muff so I made a song for it. I just got it fucking loaded
(52m 45s) So instead of using text message of photos have been sent to you over the years. We can do that. That’s a better idea
(52m 56s) You know what? I thought oh my god, I think you’re honest up. I think you’re honest up there here when you talked about talking about muffs and being bejazzled
(53m 4s) I so I was I had the urge to change my nipple ring as I was like look at through my jewelry
(53m 13s) I’m back to the gold one like wait a sec. We haven’t seen your nipple rings. How could we tell it?
(53m 16s) She got working with it anyway So I was looking through what I had and I was like, I wonder if I have any of my old ones or whatever So I was looking through like an old jewelry box. Do you know what I found?
(53m 25s) I’m all the lizard. Can I put it on?
(53m 27s) Can we I know my my picture that was exactly where my headway as I was like I need to get that like in a display case.
(53m 35s) And like yes, so I will I’ve got to do that I have was that the first my first episode was called There’s a lizard in my snatch yes, and I remember seeing a photo of the lizard in his snatch You took a I had your hood pierce well I had to I had a hood and at the time it was called a Christina So it was over top it was like at the very top of the slit
(53m 57s) Worst piercing I’ve ever had in my life most people But I it’s what was like I was like a curved barbell So I could fit like similar to like belly button rings in there.
(54m 4s) And I found one that was a lizard that had the top, the front legs, and the head, and then the barbell, and then the back legs, the tail, and I would put that in there, and it, which it wasn’t, I couldn’t leave it in for long, because it would like sometimes turn and it’d be awkward with the little appendages and stuff like that, but it was, it was very fun.
(54m 23s) And I, I have that barbell still, I could not believe it when I found it, that’s like the good one. The only way that would have been better is if you like put it in like a shadow box and gave it to me for my 50th birthday. I know, I didn’t even do a hand.
(54m 34s) But if you guys could figure out how to display it in a little box for you. This, well, I mean, we’re going to put it in. We’re going to auction it off for like a hundred thousand dollars.
(54m 43s) I know I could not believe I still had that. We should do a, we should do a contest in the past, have done contest before and people have submitted stuff. It was a guess her name, or name her pussy, name her snatch, and it was for Magnum and her snatch ended up becoming slip inside.
(55m) but the name of it was ’cause she didn’t have any,
(55m 1s) and Spoo got that one and we signed the panties
(55m 5s) love the fact that you found that fucking shit and I can’t wait to see it. I can vaguely remember what it looks like. Do you have it on your phone? Do you take a picture of it?
(55m 11s) I did not take a picture of it. No, it’s like tarnish. So I got to clean it up. I cannot wait to see it. Anyway, I found the guess from off song. Here it is. Listen to this. Let’s do final words before I play the song. We’ll just wrap up here. What do you think about it? Got anything? Happy happy fucking mother fucking 250 years. Happy fucking birthday. I want to say happy birthday to my dog Arthur, his birthday was today, and to celebrate.
(55m 35s) Last night after the fireworks he freaks out, I got up at four in the morning, took him outside, and he got sprayed with something, and I had to wash him at four or thirty this morning. So happy birthday to Arthur! Hatrick did your final words. I found my lizard snatch. I did. I know I can’t believe I still have that. I’ll skip the list really, I’m just you remember what the number is. Let me give it to it. Let’s 3, 4, 1, something. 3, 4, 1, 3, 1, 4, 1, 3, 4, 1, 3, 4, 1, 3, 4, 1, 3, 4, 1, 3, 4, 1, 3, 4, 1, 4. Boom. Hit that shit. Alright, stay tuned for guests. Her mom.
(56m 5s) It’s coming. It’s gonna be a whole game show. It’s gonna be fucking awesome. But here’s the new theme song for guests. Her mom.
(56m 35s) Let’s make the scene. Option one. Fool push like a 70s dream. They can’t curl and jungle supreme. I should do trimmed up nice. Landing strip so tired. Little arrow pointing down to paradise. Guess I’m up. Guess I’m up. What’s she got for us? Call it out. Fool push. What? Trim. Oh, but gazzled. Guess I’m up. Let’s hear you shout.
(57m 5s) Oh, smooth is glass. Feels like a slip and slide on that ass. Option four, the jazzled sparkles in shine. Pussy looking like a disco. One of a kind. Ryan Stone’s glitter. Maybe her name. She’s bling in that thing. Like it’s part of the game. Fool push for the hippies. Trim for the tees. All for the clean freaks. But jazz will for the sleeve. Whatever she chose, we’re all gonna win. Just lift up the curtain and let the games begin. Guess I’m up. Guess I’m up. What’s she got for us?
(57m 35s) Boys, call it out. Fool push. What? Trim ball. But gazzled. Guess I’m up. Scream at last. Sometimes it’s natural. Sometimes it’s big. Sometimes there’s juice down there. But one thing certain. We don’t really care. As long as it’s warm.
(58m 5s) , and waiting there. Guess I’m up. Guess I’m up. Tell us what’s up. Tell us what’s up. One, two, three or four. Drop the vote. Boy settle the score. Guess I’m up. Oh. Guess I’m up. Fool push. Trim ball. Or be dazzled.
(58m 35s) We love them all. Now pass the next panel.